I’m actually praying, not blaspheming.
I just can’t seem to get past……
So, I’ve been repeating myself. For quite some time actually!
In the interests of experimentation I’ve decided to expand my repertoire.
But that looks too thankful – I was aiming more for desperate, to be honest.
Too breathless? – I could just be asthmatic.
Too shouty – don’t want to freak him out and appear demanding!
So far I’ve been too anal, too quiet, too cocky, too disinterested and too Germanic.
Maybe I should run through a few more accents? Might look like I’m taking the piss though!
I should have just stuck to my original plan of “heart felt and sincere” but when I do it now it seems a bit “Crossroads” – if you know what I mean.
Banging my head on the table as emphasis?
Oh (Bang) God (bang)!
But as I’m in Waitrose caf I think we can consider that as too “crazy”, a little inappropriate maybe, don’t want to alienate The Almighty!
I have to be honest, I don’t know where to take this next.
I can hear you knocking but you’re not coming in!
I don’t even let the cleaner in here you know.
Think of the damage you could cause if you blundered around unenthusiastically.
I have thousands of DVD’s full of things I would rather forget.
Bad hair cuts.
People who should never have been kissed!
I’ve tried to get rid of them but I just can’t work out how to wipe my hard drive.
There are suit cases full of memories I’ve packed away and stored at the back.
I tried burning them once but I used quality fire retardant
because I thought they were important.
So if you think you got away with that nasty comment you once made, you can think again!!
There are dangerous issues in here that I would not like to subject you to!
For example, in that tar pit are the fossilised remains of some pretty scary fears!
Doctors with facial hair ( Oh Yes!! It’s in there somewhere)!
There’s even a vast vat of inferiority that I won’t go anywhere near.
I really am that crap!!
So, anyway, you’re not coming in but if you’re still interested I’ll send you some photo’s.
Hold onto love like a precious diamond.
Cradle it in the hollow of your palms.
Wrap your body around it like a womb
And surround it with the softest silk.
Bathe it in sunlight.
Clean it with the purest water
From the top of the highest mountain.
Dry it with the breath of hope.
Nurture your love like the smallest child.
Watch it grow with the obsession of a new parent.
Feed it with your purest emotion
And watch it grow.
Hold your love up high in the strongest wind.
Let it go and watch it spread like the seeds of the rarest plant.
Wait through the seasons for it to grow and
On the right day you will look out of your window.
That bare field of grass will be a meadow and
Each wild flower will be a jewel from your heart.
Like a sea of poppies
your love will transform the landscape.
The perfume of love will be the air you breathe
and the touch of love in the petals as you brush your fingers by.
So, hold onto your love because it is a precious diamond.
Feel, as you centre, my loving arms flex to draw you in.
The whisper of my spirit sliding over your cheek,
Like hot air on a humid day.
Feel my presence in your life at this very moment.
You cannot see the fire of the hot,orange sun,
But you feel the heat on your skin as
You turn your face towards it.
Bask in my glow.
Feel my heat.
Wake up from your slumber and live your life,
As we planned it together long ago.
The time is now.
Savour this great love.
It is my gift to you.
It will nourish you and protect you.
It will keep you safe,
Like a baby wrapped in the warmest lambs wool.
It will keep away the cold hardness of those who cannot love.
For you are precious to me.
You are the one I hold dear
You are closest to to my heart.
You are the one.
Does love surround you?
Is the very filament a source for your joy?
Does my heart beat because you are there?
The air is thick with your colours, as if my eyes could catch your shimmer.
Your shape just a touch past my view.
What beauty I could see if you would just release me – Just let me through!
Just changed me and lifted the mist that obscures my view.
I am almost there!
I can feel it, like tasting salt in the air on a cliff edge.
Like stepping out onto a cloud from a mountain top.
What must I do to get back to you?
To feel you again.
To be just one part of that great Love.
How I miss you all my friends!
The connection is too strong to break.Too raw to ignore.
It is like you never left me here.
Like I followed you home, only to see you through a window of frosted glass.
Reach through the layers and find inner calm.
The eye of the storm
where all is silent and still.
Where God sits, waiting for your arrival,
on the soft cushion of serenity.
Hear the distant call of your mind.
That still, small voice calling you from
the depths of your heart.
You are surrounded.
Not with a cacophony of noise.
Not with the blinding colours of your ego.
Not with the lure of physical things.
But with the call to silence.
The call to prayer.
The call of love.
Surround your self with this soothing sound.
The beating of a steady heart.
The soft rush of air as you feel your spirit move.
You will find that this silence
is not as quiet as you might think.
But it is where you will find me
and I am waiting,
What would happen if you let go of that tiny kernel of self-doubt?
Would you be set free?
Would your heart lighten and explode with the purest feelings of love?
Would you lean your forehead forwards to rest against mine?
Would you take a deep breath as you lie back and truly rest in my arms?
Imagine you stand before a mirror.
Your arm outstretched, Your fingers resting on the cool glass.
Close you eyes and feel the molecules of glass turn to vapour.
Do not open your eyes!
Do you feel a warmth on your finger tips?
Do you feel the equal pressure of my hand upon yours?
This is how close we are.
The mirror an illusion that keeps us apart.
Do you know how much I long to have you back!
Do you realise that every moment away from you tears at my heart!
I am incomplete without you.
But I had to let you go.
How you begged to have this chance!
One more time to make a difference, one last chance to be apart.
And so I let you go even though we both knew it would hurt.
But our love is strong and our bond eternal.
So you have nothing to fear.
I am still here, though you only see your own reflection in the mirror.
And when it is time to lift the veil,
Oh, how glad we will be that we took this chance to be apart.